Sunday, January 19, 2014


We saw "The secret Life of Walter Mitty" today. It touched me like I didn't expect and made me think about things i hadn't thought before. In one small scene i realised how gripped in fear i was and how all these fears had effected my life.
There's a scene where the female lead character is playing a guitar and singing to Walter, and in that moment i realised there were so many things in life i don't do because I'm afraid. Afraid of how hard it is and afraid of failure, not doing well, my lifelong fear - afraid I'm not good enough.
I don't play any instruments, because its hard and i mightn't do that well. I didn't finish high school because i was terrified of the HSC. I've never applied for University because of the entrance exam (the one you have to do because you didn't finish high school) and now i live forever feeling intimidated by anyone with a university degree. Honestly and ashamedly, my list of un-achievements because of fear could go on.
That moment made me realise i needed to not be afraid anymore because i don't want my kids turning out like me, afraid and held back. I wanted them to seize every opportunity that came their way and run with it and become the best them that they could be.
This can only happen if i make today my stake in the ground day. The day i decide to not be afraid any more. I want to live a life that my kids see their mum will do anything and try anything. That to them i am fearless and in turn they will grow and be fearless. I want to raise children that strive for righteousness and live for justice and show mercy and grace to everyone they encounter.
Today i will start, today i will make the choice to live life unafraid.

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